Heavy Heart

What is it about a broken heart? Why is that once you’ve been there it’s like a mere shimmer can take you back? Like the smell of rain before it pours, or seeing that your about to crash and knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it. And suddenly it happens. Then it hits and for one split-second it hurts so bad you can’t breath and you don’t even feel….. any thing, and then you feel Everything like a brick wall and your immersed in a wave that is so big your not sure if you are going up or down- you don’t even know how you’ll get your next breath and just when you know your drowning and your about to breath water instead of air you get a little break and for a split second you surface to suck in as much air as you can before you go under again.
Those are feelings you never forget and when you see it happen to those you love… you don’t just see it-- You hear it, smell it, taste it, breath it, ache it, die in it, live in it.

Then the morning comes again with the Amazing Grace of a fresh day. And though you feel like you’ll Never be whole again, you can look back on the night before knowing it’s only through tender mercies you’ve made to see this light, and somehow realize you jut took a baby step though it felt like a journey of a thousand years and you get to do the same thing today.

And why is it so important to have a broken heart? It hurts Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamnit!

Is it the surest way to know Godly sorrow? Is it the immediate connection that forces us to our knees for direction through our suffering? Is it the learning to know we can be stronger?
All I know for myself about it for certain is that it’s hard and aches into my soul.